Darkness
And Light
Darkness
Let there be light, the story begins.
Our story.
As if, without the light there would be no story. At least not our story.
Maybe because of the warping of reality that the AI and digital world can seem to be, there’s new interest in a question our kind would not, until recently, entertain.
What preceded the Big Bang? If the Big Bang is understood to be an explosion of light out of the dark.
Bring it closer to home.
Presumably a fertilized egg starts its miraculous journey in darkness. I’ve read that there comes a moment in which the fetus develops eyes, and at some later moment, a functioning optic nerve in its developing brain.
Does it then see light? Or is it like that mysterious field you see when your eyes are closed?
One reason I think people fear death, is because we tend to equate death with darkness. It’s spooky to see a person who has recently died, with eyes open. Hearing is said to be the last sense to cease in a dying person, but what about vision? Or at least some perception of light?
What might we make of all those people near death, some who died and some who “returned”, that they saw a bright light?
Why do we close the eyelids of a person who has died?
Since I began regular mindful meditation, I’ve become aware that, when my eyes are closed, I see all manner of things. Color, shimmering. People. Sometimes people I think I have known, but what I see is not so distinct that I can positively identify them.
I was born cross-eyed. I had surgery to correct a lazy eye, and later a strabismus. All before I was 4. I have no conscious memory of those surgeries.
I turn the dimmer to full bright when I enter a room. Lacey, who has a more sophisticated sense of color and design, prefers softer, filtered light.
Carl Jung was my first source for the idea that we have light and dark sides to our character. Though he came from an orthodox Christian background, that identified darkness with evil, and light with good, he believed that both sides need to be acknowledged, even embraced, before we can become whole.
There is a characteristic of every person I know of, who has what I would consider a healthy perspective on themselves.
At it’s extreme, it reads, “If those people praising me only knew the full story, knew what sordid, tasteless things my mind can entertain.”
The sentiment is extreme because the phenomenon is universal, not extreme.
We live in the light, and we entertain all manner of things, in the dark.
Maybe that’s what there was before the Big Bang, one half of the phenomenon of humans.
God, the gods, gravity, the force, chose to bring light to complete our kind.
That’s what we’re made of, dark and light. When the explosion of comet, meteor, splintered matter, into moon, earth, it also scattered matter that evolved ooze.
Us.
The days are getting shorter, the nights longer. We force ourselves to try to behave no differently, as if we had cleverly declawed our bodies’ natural response to the change.
We know better.
Did you write this before or after you harassed potential neighbors based on their race and familial size as a way to threaten and intimidate them from not buying the upstairs unit from you? Your darkness showed through that day.
Subject: Housing Discrimination Complaint
To Whom It May Concern,
On August 27, my husband and I were under contract to purchase a condominium at **. We were excited about the prospect of owning this home and creating a new chapter for our family. I am a White woman, and my husband is a Black man. We have four young, biracial children. Unfortunately, during the home inspection, we encountered behavior from the only other homeowners and HOA members, Lacey and Blayney Colmore — both white — that was intrusive, inappropriate, and, in our view, discriminatory.
Inspection Day: Invasive and Prejudiced Comments
When we arrived for the inspection, we walked into the patio. Lacey Colmore came out to greet us, which was surprising, as in our previous two condo purchases, we had never had neighbors approach us during an inspection. She began asking personal questions such as why I liked this unit and why we were moving there. I interpreted it at first as curious but still found it somewhat forward, especially as I was parenting our children in that moment while they excitedly imagined their new space.
As we proceeded toward the unit, I overheard Blayney Colmore ask our agent, Cinthia Ulloa “Are all of those children hers?” This question was deeply inappropriate and carried racial and familial undertones that made me uncomfortable. As the only HOA members, the Colmores are in a position of power, and this added weight to the discomfort I already felt.
A few minutes later, while inside the unit with our agent, her assistant, and the seller’s agent, Sally Laffely, Lacey opened the door that leads from the lower unit to the stairwell yelling up if my husband and the inspector were done in the basement. As she was about to leave, she turned to me and asked, “Do you have three or four children?” When I replied that I had four, she said, “Are you crazy?” This was said in front of my seven-year-old daughter, who heard everything. I attempted to brush it off, responding lightly, “I love it,” and tried to redirect the conversation.
But Lacey continued. She said the home might not be the right place for us, citing that the floors were old and there was little soundproofing. She added that if we moved forward, we would “have” to talk to her about sound cushioning. Her comments felt more like a warning than a helpful neighborly suggestion. I was extremely uncomfortable and walked away to speak with Sally, Cinthia, and my mother who had arrived at this point.
Later, I had to explain to my daughter why someone had questioned my choices and called me “crazy” for having my family.
Feeling uneasy, I took the children to a nearby playground. My mother stayed in the car with three of them while I returned briefly to say goodbye and get our youngest from my husband. As I walked through the shared driveway toward our unit, Blayney came outside and approached me, with Lacey visibly watching from their screen door.
He initiated a conversation saying that this probably wasn’t our “first choice,” that it didn’t seem like the “right fit,” and that we should “keep looking.” He expressed concern over children living in the building, citing the size, layout, and neighborhood. I stopped him and said that those were concerns for me to consider, not him, and went inside. At that moment, I felt deeply rattled and threatened.
Both Sally and Cinthia, seasoned real estate professionals, were shocked by what they witnessed.
Safety Concerns and Withdrawing Our Offer
The inspection revealed significant concerns about the property’s safety and structural integrity, many of which were listed as common elements in the master deed and would require coordination with the Colmores if we proceeded. Given the hostility we experienced, we were not comfortable with this.
We asked the seller to either address the structural issues or reduce the price to allow us to handle them ourselves. In the end, we walked away from the purchase given strong indication that they would be unable or unwilling to work together to handle these concerns. What should have been a joyful day — seeing our future home as a family — became a painful experience marked by prejudice and intimidation.
Basis for Complaint
We believe we were discriminated against on the basis of race and familial status, both protected classes under the Fair Housing Act. The Colmores made repeated, unsolicited comments about the size of our family, questioned our decision to live there, and implied we did not belong — all while our biracial children were present.
In a follow-up message, Blayney even apologized in writing for “panicking” over the idea of children living above them — further confirming that their discomfort was tied directly to our family’s composition.
Phrases like “Are you crazy?”, “this may not be the place for you,” “you’ll have to install soundproofing,” and “I think you’d be happier elsewhere” made it very clear that our race and family status were being judged — and rejected — by the only other homeowners in the building.
Request
We are submitting this complaint so that this discriminatory behavior is investigated, and to prevent similar treatment of other families in the future. We should never have been made to feel unwanted in a home we were ready to purchase. Our race and our children should never have been the basis for doubt, questioning, or exclusion.
Always enjoy your reflections, Blayney.